If I were having coffee right now, I would love to sip every drop of it with my best friend Ryan. I do treasure him for over three years of brotherly mentoring and friendship. I would love to listen to his music, then look straight in his charming blue eyes as I tell him how precious were the years he spent with me.
Ryan my dear, where art thou?
Today marks 2 years, 4 months, 1 hour and 11 minutes of our last talk. Ahhh…I just want to tell you that I did take into account your valuable and sweet pieces of advice during my difficult days. I bet, I’m a lot better now than the first few months of you patiently speaking with me.
I did try my best to focus on my spiritual goals. I’m still looking forward to pioneering in the near future. There have been a lot of challenges lately, but God has never given up on me.
I did take care of my heart. There have been many recipients of my Christian love, but I’m a bit upset. I hurt some soul’s heart when they asked for something else beyond brotherly love. It was painful too on my part, but God never left my soul crushed. My heart is still intact!
I did review my letters before sending them to my employer and his subordinates. Finally, I was able to enjoy my jobless state for almost 2 years now. There have been a lot of adjustments simplifying my lifestyle, but God never left me miserable. Actually, it has been the most beautiful life I ever had. Indeed, “Taste and see that Jehovah is good.”
I did allow my children to live their lives. It was difficult being away from them for a while, but they did survive and realize that there’s only one best Momie in the world for them; that a Momie like me is a human being too, perfectly imperfect; that God has never stopped drawing them close to Him, that his commandments are for their protection.
I did lessen my loads. I gave up some of my secular schooling, some of my not so significant projects, some friends who are not so friends, and most of my overthinking addiction. Hmmm…I did learn to say NO. It wasn’t easy at first, but God has been faithful. He never allowed me to get overwhelmed and suffer emotionally.
I did try writing again. How would I ever forget your sweetest feedback on my writings?
“I find your writings hypnotic and, please don’t take this wrong, but romantic, to read. I hope you understand what I mean, my other spirit…”
It wasn’t easy writing again after the painful rift with my staff whom I trained to write but were not appreciative of the gesture, but God gave me some inspirations to write again from the heart. Shabs loved my style. Kuya Mario encouraged me to write a book. Kirandeep’s thoughts and passion for the art made us to be co-writers for over a year now. Little Curly obliged me to visit the academic world again, ignited the spark in my heart making me write his thoughts and mine on a roller coaster story of life.
Well, I still love having coffee and donuts with you. I kept your green mug for your Americano and my red mug for my Caramel Macchiato. I still love to take a bite from your sugar-glazed donuts. I drool still over my freshly-baked blueberry cheesecake and chocolate chips muffin in our favorite French coffee shop.
Hmmm…Today, I had three cups of brewed coffee. I intentionally didn’t order my favorite coffee and cake and muffins and donuts. I want to have all of them with you again soon.
By the way, I wrote YOU today using my new dainty journal and colored pens. I miss you watching me write in ink.
Seriously? I miss you Ryan, my sweet brother and adviser…